Saturday 24 September 2011

Trailing Spouse


 A few weeks ago, I was invited to join a PHD art project by and for “The Trailing Spouse” by my friend Piia Rossi.  This term describes the predicament we both find ourselves in, living in a place, which is not of our choosing where our partners happen to have work.   It is a term used often in the military, diplomatic or government circles, where the employee is relocated at regular intervals. It is also common practice in those areas to offer support in terms of jobs and childcare to the Trailing Spouse. In the States, universities are known to offer spouses employment in order to encourage academics to relocate. In the experience of Piia and myself, we have received no support from the University of Bielefeld: No Kindergarten place, no help in finding a flat and no support in finding a job.

The term “Trailing Spouse” is not empowering. Rather, it suggests weakness: A hapless soul trailing behind their partner, an appendage rather than an autonomous person.

To me, the words “Trailing Spouse” conjure up horticultural references. I imagine a delicate vine clinging on to a trellis, decorative and vulnerable to the elements. But to my mind, the “Trailing Spouse” must in actual fact become a very resilient type of plant.  It must survive being uprooted and replanted, it must be extremely adaptable to new conditions, it must find fertile soil or it will soon wither on the vine.

Piia was transplanted to Bielefeld over a year ago. Originally from Finnland, she lived in Ireland for twenty years as an artist printmaker and teacher before coming to Bielefeld.  In a way, it is a similar situation to me. She met her husband in the city that she chose to live in and then moved because of his job to a new town and became a “Trailing Spouse”. For her, though, the move was more extreme than mine as the country and the language was new to the family. Her husband is Slovakian, and her children speak English, Slovakian and Finnish and now German.

Before Piia explained her project to me, though, I had never really considered the notion of being a “Trailing Spouse”. 

She pointed out to me that it makes you different to the people you encounter in that place, not only because you may be foreign, but also because you don’t have the same relation to the place you happen to be living in, especially if that place is like Bielefeld, where many people who live here also grew up here. You will probably not have a steady career trajectory, as that would have meant staying in one place for a length of time or having your spouse following you. Your attitude to your flat will be different to most people, because you know that in a few years time you will be moving on, so there is no point investing that much in it.  In the back of your mind you know the friendships you make are, sadly, not going to exist in the same form in a few years time. Somehow, this makes your status quite different to others, even taking into consideration other life altering changes that effect everyone.

So I was pleased when Piia told me about her great project and even invited me to join it. It has promised me a sense of belonging and that, ironically, because of my “Trailing Spouse” status, which usually set me apart.  And I realised, that even though I have been in Bielefeld three years and will most probably move somewhere else in one year I have, despite being a “Trailing Spouse”, made some kind of headway here. I have had new experiences that I wouldn’t have had if I had stayed in Berlin. I have joined a brass band and go to a book club, and have met brilliant people here as well as finding out about another little corner of the globe and I suppose, another side of myself. 


You can view Piia Rossi's "Trailing Spouses" community page, which is on Facebook, to find out more information. 

Saturday 10 September 2011

The Anti Menu Menu Planner

I wonder if any of you who are in the family way, have tried menu-planning? That is, making a list of meals for the week in advance, the idea being to save money by buying only the necessary ingredients. Sounds like an excellent idea doesn’t it?
Well, this week in my blog I am going to offer you a kind of reverse meal plan; that is, the meals that we have ended up making when, for whatever reason, the meal plan has gone belly up:


Klaus’ Bread Schnitzel                Cooking time: 10 minutes

1. Ignore all the healthy produce in your fridge that you bought as part of your menu plan.
2. Cut some slices of bread.
3. Grab a couple of eggs and beat,
4. Sprinkle packet breadcrumbs on a saucer.
5. Dip bread in egg.
6. Dip egg covered bread in breadcrumbs
7. Fry at a moderate heat.
8. Serve with tomato ketchup and leftovers from last night’s dinner.


Catherine’s peanut butter butties       Preparation time: 3 Minutes


1. Scrape the remains of child´s untouched planned menu meal into bin.
2. Cut one slice of bread…
3. ..whack on some peanut butter
4. Cut in half.
5. Serve by placing one half in each hand.


Eric’s it is not a sandwich sausage sandwich     Preparation time: 20 minutes

1. Ignore the meal plan.
2. Get one slice of bread
3. Get mini frankfurter out of fridge.
4. Slice lengthways, crossways, anyways.
5. Place chopped up sausage on bread
6. Place another slice of bread on top
7. Serve by eating just the sausage and leaving the bread untouched.



Henry´s Just Desserts     Preparation time : 2.5 minutes

1. Fall asleep just before your menu planned lunch.    
2. Wake up 5 minutes before having to leave house to pick up brother.
3. Eat a bowl of yoghurt.


So, don´t be too disappointed if your menu planning doesn't pan out.  You may find that what you and your family come up with may be the best thing since sliced bread, if it isn´t sliced bread that is.

Saturday 3 September 2011

Life in Bielefeld; Must Haves

Life in Bielefeld

I am sure that one of the most pressing questions at the moment for most of the readers of this blog (the one or maybe two of you) is, what is that place Bielefeld like? I mean Berlin I get, TV Tower, international flair, magnet for artists. But Bielefeld, what is the attraction.  Really.
Well, I am not going to overturn your preconceptions here: The answer is none.

But in case you do decide to come here on a visit, though, to become one with this noneness, you may want to invest in some accessories so that you fit in.
Fitting in is quite important in Bielefeld.  See Bielefeld  ==> fitting in.

Must haves of Bielefeld:

1. Riesenthal Shopping Basket.

You are on the number 4 tram and alight at Siegfried Platz, the hub of Bielefeld culture, where the look is University chic meets retired eco warrior devil-may-care, and you find yourself on a picturesque Square, which has the quaint nickname of “Siggi”, which doesn´t sound so inviting in English it has to be said.
You step out of the lift, it is a glorious day – I mean the one day of the year in Bielefeld when it isn´t raining – straight into a buzzing weekly market, as in farmers trying to palm off their fresh produce on you, apiarists trying to shift their honey, and florists trying to peddle their colourful perishables.  I ask you.
Bielefeld at its worst!

This is where the Riesenthal Shopping basket comes in handy. You can choose from a wide variety of colours, plain or patterned, which the manufacturers optimistically describe as baroque, folklore and art deco, but basically, as everyone else has got one, there is nothing individual about them at all, and they are ugly as hell.   If you are at the market, and you don’t have one of these, you might as well kiss the last chanterelles goodbye, and you certainly do not deserve them. The lady of middling years with the pointy white shoes with air holes in and beige slacks (illustration below) will be in there before you know it and you will be reeling from brushed aluminium steel (lightweight!) against the soft target of your shins.
See Bielefeld ==>Beige Slacks






2. Headband integrating ear warmer

You are walking up past the magnificent villas of the Musical district on your way up to the Sparrenberg, a dramatically situated castle perched high on the hills above Bielefeld, when you feel a tingling around the ear area. As you climb higher, the castle in your sights, your breathing getting faster as you try and cope with the lack of oxygen at this altitude, you suddenly feel a breeze a-whipping around your earlobes.  You drag yourself up to the summit, inadvertently kissing the castles medieval foundations as you do so, when there is that sensation again that you can´t quite put your finger on, a sensation that is the opposition of hot, well not even that, as it is not cold it is, yes, you´ve got it – chilly – and what is chilly? Your ears! Panic stricken you raise your head and squint up at the castle’s turrets, take off your coat and wrap it around your ears in a desperate attempt to stop the gnawing chilly sensation, but its still no good, the chilly feeling round your ears just doesn’t stop. You peer down  through the grate into the castles dungeons, thinking you might be able to fit in a tour today, if only your ears were not so damned chilly. Funnily enough though, the top of your head is just toasty warm, even though you are not wearing a hat, it is just your ears that are just extremely and maddeningly chilly.  You adopt a kneeling position, your hands cupped protectively over your ears, hoping, praying for an answer to your pressing chilliness, when you inadvertently trip up a passing jogger, who is running along the 127 kilometre Herman Way, with your elbow. You’ve downed a jogger, but what is this? Neither a head-band or a hat, ingenious, a head band that covers the ears, and hey, it looks sporty too.






You feel as if you have left the dark ages. Before the jogger is conscious you whip the Headband Integrating Ear Warmer off him and place it lovingly around your head and most importantly over those terribly chilly ears of yours.  What relief, now you can really start your tour of the castle, and strangely enough, the top of your bare head is still puzzlingly toasty warm.   As you enter the castle courtyard an eerie view greets you. Not only is the owner of the snack shop wearing a headband/earwarmer, but on closer inspection everyone in the castle grounds is wearing one! Nervous, feeling as if you have entered the hallowed grounds of a weird ear-warming sect, you venture  towards the tower, and the start the ascent of the 37 metre tower. You skip up the steps like a dream, your ears snug as a medieval bug in a medieval rug. It’s only when you take in the breath taking view of Bielefeld that you hear the jogger’s footsteps behind you, and the mournful groan of – "chilly ears, chilly ears".
See Bielefeld ==> snack shop