Saturday 15 October 2011

Mottephobia


In this blog I want to share with you quotes and phrases that have influenced me and followed me down the years. They are not phrases from the famous, the dead, the infamous or all three. They are things said in passing by friends that have stuck in my head and have refused to leave. When I think about that friend, a particular phrase often springs to mind. I hope they do not feel offended or exposed if I repeat them here in my blog.

There is something about grapes that just seems to say, I was hereS.R. is the most poignant thing I have ever heard someone say about fruit. Now, whenever I see the left over grape stalks, or vine, or whatever you call them, after the grapes have been plucked off one by one and devoured, I can’t help but think of this phrase. It was said by an artist photographer friend of mine, who I have known since I was at college. Actually, I find it a quite fitting quote for a photographer, the medium that preserves in an image everything which must pass, where its carrier is the negative, at least in analogue photography, and that which is left out, is as important as that which is included. The perfect metaphor, then, for describing presence and absence.

“Sudoku is for brain dead people” J.O. otherwise known as J.E.
At the height of the Sudoku craze, there was one voice of reason. Actually this has let me off the hook ever since, as recently, when I was looking over my 6 year old son’s maths textbook, I realised I couldn’t solve the Sudoku puzzle there.  In fact, it takes just about all of my mental energy to spell the word correctly.

“Moths are Wankers” S.S. A truism, something that, perhaps, we all feel deep down in our hearts, finally given the poetic expression it deserves. It has since been immortalised by the very talented illustrator, Zeel, into badges. Who amongst us feels love for the moth? Whether it is the destruction that they vent outwardly on our clothes, the chilling appearance of their thick hairy bodies and leathery wings, or the fact that we can’t work out why, although not easily differentiated from butterflies, we hate their moth guts but get butterflies in our tummies.  Everyone harbours their own beef with the moth, don’t they? All, that is, except the “Moth-ers”, moth enthusiasts, who, believe it or not spend their free time actually observing them. They have since apparently produced their own badges which can be found on their website: www.Don’t-Mess-with-the-Moth-er-Fuckers.de.

“Make it so hot that I can’t eat it” A. Living in Berlin can be testy for foodies, you can wear down the soles of your shoes in your attempt to track down a half decent Indian meal. The trouble is, they cater for the shy tastes of Berliners. They give ‘em what they think they want: bland curry. On the whole, if the Berlin ethnic cuisine were described in half lives, originally used to describe atomic decay, they would be at least 7 half lives away from a curry in Brick Lane. And, I’m sorry to say, the friend could eat it.

“Tuna Sandwich Day” L.H. OK, not exactly a quote, but more of a lifestyle choice I think about this phrase on a regular basis. For me, it represents perhaps the kind of day that I don’t seem to be able to allow myself to have, having been involuntarily imbued in the protestant work ethic from an early age. And this, despite having no discernable career, whatsoever! Wow, how I would love to have a pyjama day, and just eat tuna fish sandwiches, and watch telly. It just seems like perfect bliss, for mother and son/s.

 So if you are ever in need of inspiration, look no further than your friends. Write your own book of quotes to keep you on the straight and narrow, and watch out for them moths!
Get your badges here: Moths are Wankers

Monday 3 October 2011

Hand-me-down Haiku

 I’ve always had a liking for the way T-shirts and clothing in general (especially children’s) are adorned with a random sprinkling of words (usually in English, even in other countries).
Curious about the language that Henry wears in his wardrobe of hand-me-downs, I decided to sift through it. I have sorted the phrases into categories:

Sports/Teams:
Team Player
Power Team
Winter Sports
Scuba Diving
Club of One
Crazy Jumps
Ride My Bike
In My Own League

Assertions/Questions
What’s Up? Jumps
 It’s Mine

Esoteric
Air Space in Front of the Other’s Eyes

Some of these phrases have a strange resonance for me: Club of One, for example. What could this mean? How can you be alone, yet belong to a club? This philosophical question haunted me. Are we all destined to be alone, and united only by our oneness? Was this to be seen in a positive light; a blatant celebration of the individual, the breakdown of the traditional family ties and a joyous disregard of the individual’s responsibility to the extended family and society in general?
What’s Up? Jumps sounded like a theatrical script from a fringe production. The actress standing stage left calls into the dark “What’s up?” Cue spotlight. Man in black leotard jumps up and down on the chalky stage. Curtain falls.
Air Space in front of the Other’s Eyes I bet that you have never thought about the air in front of the other’s eyes as being different, say, to air in front of their nose or the air in front of your nose, for that matter. Definitely worth thinking about!
And then there is the brash “Its mine” I mean, isn’t this phrase something we parents squirm at when our kids say it.  “No, darling, please share” we meekly respond, smiling weakly at the other parents as our toddler unceremoniously wrenches treasured toy away from their little sweetheart, adding a push for good measure. Now here we are letting our child walk around with this phrase emblazoned on their chest.  That’s just asking for trouble.

I first became interested in how English is used as a form of decoration way back in 1990 when I was interested in Japanese culture. English type and words were used frequently at that time (early 90s) on Japanese clothing.  I was attracted to the liberal use of nonsensical juxtaposition of words. I liked the banality of the language, the way that the designs imitated a foreign culture with the context removed: A fictional football team that existed in name only on a T – Shirt.  In short, I enjoyed the Japanese art of imitation. And this really is an art. Imitation or reconstructions are not seen as inferior to the original in Japan, as they are in the West. Moreover, what ever it is they imitate, they usually end up doing it better.  In 2002, they hosted the World Cup and thousands of Japanese imitated being a football fan for whatever country they chose to support.  Some “real” fans felt like they took the seriousness out of the game. How could they support Holland or England just as vigorously as they had Japan? They looked the part, but where was the substance? Nine years later Japan swept to victory at the Women’s World Cup in 2011 in Germany, which just goes to show that just because there is imitation doesn’t mean that there is a lack of seriousness. In Japanese culture, the original is not necessarily more highly regarded than the imitation. An example of this is The Golden Pavilion in Kyoto. A three-story temple adorned with gold leaf, burnt down by a crazy monk who was tortured by its beauty, as the story goes, and rebuilt in 1955. It is revered as if it was the original.

Haiku poetry is a high art form in Japan, and Western modern poets have struggled to imitate it. Perhaps the most famous Haiku poet is Basho(1644-1694) who wrote the famous Haiku:

An old pond!
A frog jumps in-
The sound of Water

The Haiku poem often describes nature, the seasons. It should describe and not analyse.

I like this Haiku, which is attributed to Yosa Buson(1716-1784)

Pressing Sushi
After A While
A lonely Feeling

And this one attributed to Issa(1762-1826):

My grumbling Wife
If only she were here!
The moon tonight.

As you can see from the above Haiku, the poem should have two contrasting elements, a cut as it were, a surprise element, if you will.

So, despite not coming from a culture when imitation is valued, and well aware that I don’t have a chance of writing a good Haiku, here is a summary of my week, in Haiku. You may notice that for extra inspiration I have used the phrases discussed above taken from my sons’ clothing.

Ride My Bike
Stolen in the pale moonlight
During the concert

It’s Mine
Yes, but it is on the floor and
I am afraid it has melted

Scuba Diving
In the police force
Is a job I want to do, Mummy.

What’s Up? Jumps
No one complains about the weather
When it is 27 degrees in October.

Winter Sports
But it is 27 degrees
And it is October!

Autumn sun
ladybird sitting on the window frame
Club of One

Airspace in front of the other’s eyes
Too much wine and loud brass
Gives me a headache