The Arachno Files

On Plastic Spiders: An illuminating discourse on the anatomy, feeding and behavioural habits of spiders in three parts by Henry (3) and Catherine (43)-

H: Has he got fingers?

C: No, he’s got legs, eight legs. See? One, two, three, four, five six, seven, eight…….

H: Are those his eyes?

C: Yes, er…., let me see. I think so…those pointy stalk things could be his eyes, I think..

H: The spider says,  “Goodbye!”

C: Goodbye, spider!

H: Don’t say goodbye!

C: What shall I say then?

H: Say nothing.

H: I cuddle the spider.

C: That’s nice. You cuddle the spider

H: Does the spider walk?

C: I think a spider crawls more than walks

H: The spider jumps!

C: Yes, the spider jumps, but he crawls, mostly

H: He’s stuck on the hair

C: I don’t want it in my hair!!

H: The spider flies!

C: Henry. Do you know what he eats?

H: Grapes!

C: The spider eats grapes, does he?

H: He eats me up. He eats you up.

C: Oh, he eats us up, does he?

H: He eats the eyes. He eats you the hair and the nose and the mouth.

C: Henry. Did you know that spiders eat flies? They work very hard and spin a web. They are very clever, spiders. Then they catch the flies in the web and eat the flies.

H: Hello!  He flies. 

(throws spider)