The enthusiast's museum

I was visiting Olso on a recce for relocation plans at the beginning of the month, when I took this photograph of an exhibit in the Oslo Tramway Museum. The design and aesthetics of trams from yesteryear are crucial to any decisions about upping sticks and moving to a new country, obviously!

What I like about such museums is that they are run by enthusiasts or amateur collectors. This museum, which we just stumbled across, is run by a non profit organisation of 450 members.

You can't imagine a gallery or prominent museum presenting a documentary film in the makeshift frame in the photograph above. Enthusiasm has ripped a hole into the past, there is nothing slick or superficial here, interaction is analogue and raw. Touch the surface, you will feel something.

For lack of either money or time, artifacts, many papers and objects have not yet found a 'home' in this museum. One driving compartment was stuffed with rolled up maps and objects, while other objects were out of bounds, in areas cordened off by tickertape and red road cones. I like coming across such back spaces in other public buildings, where things are stored. In the tram museum they are as much a part of the experience as the trams themselves.

Having said that, I am not really interested in when this or that tram was decommissioned. I just like the colours and look of the old trams, the way the destination signs have been hung vertically over one another on the wall and the slightly ramshackle atmosphere of the museum and someone else's interest in yesteryear. I am not a tram enthusiast myself. An interloper?

These kind of museums bring back memories of my childhood. I remember one holiday setting up my own 'museum' with a friend, collecting rocks, objects found by the wayside, even old bones as I remember. We were in a hot place and the museum was in a cave. I think we waited a long time for people to visit our carefully arranged exhibits; nobody came.

The image of the tram compartment in the above photo appeals to me for a different reason. The name of this blog was inspired by the painting Compartment C, Car 293 (1938) by Edward Hopper, which shows a woman sitting alone in a train carriage, moving through landscape. Alain de Botton includes a reproduction of this painting in his book, The Art of Travel, and writes:

"Hopper was drawn to trains. He was drawn to the atmosphere inside half-empty carriages making their way across a landscape: the silence that reigns inside while the wheels beat in rhythm against the rails outside, the dreaminess fostered by the noise and the views from the windows, a dreaminess in which we seem to stand outside our normal selves and have access to thoughts and memories that may not arise in other circumstances. The woman in Compartment C, Car 293 (1938) seems to be in such a frame of mind, reading her book and shifting her gaze between the carriage and the view."

Having a blog has felt like having a 'room of ones own' in whatever space you may feel the internet may actually be. I would go so far as to say it is a physical space for me in that can help my mind travel.  Having said that I would admit that my blog has also the feel of an enthusiast's museum: It needs tidying up, gets carried away by certain details and I don't have the technical knowhow to refine its look.


But I am always grateful when people take the time to stop by.

Home Street Homes®

I

                                                             

“Hi Catherine. Would you like a cup of coffee? Shall I order one for you?”

“Yes please. That would be lovely.”

“Just as you like it then, not too much milk.  Don’t forget, there’s your red pill to take, and a wee glass of water to go with it.”

“What would I do without you?”

II

“Hi, Catherine. Oh, I see that you are reading? Is that a book club book?

“No, it isn’t. Or it might be. I don’t know, actually.”

“Because if it were a bookclub book then we could have a really good discussion about it, you know.”

“But it’s not.”

“For example, we’ve been reading the Classic non-fiction book, Autobiography by Morrissey. A pop musician of your generation I believe. We asked ourselves: Why did he devote such a huge chunk of the book on writing about a band rather than delve further into the legal wrangles and acrimonious relationships he was involved in which are far more interesting? Obviously a huge oversight.”

“Ahh... but he went into more detail in the two books that followed, and I’ve heard he’s writing a fourth about the latest court case, the first brought by him. I think it is for slander this time, against a fan who said he enjoyed his performance, to which he replied that everything he does is real and never performed, and promptly sued.”

“You see, you should really join our virtual book club. You’d get so much out of it.”

III

“Hi Catherine. Beautiful day outside isn’t it.”

“Yes, it certainly looks bright outside.”

“You know, it’s time you got in touch with a friend, Catherine. It has been a while, don’t you think? Actually it has been 11 days. That’s not healthy you know.”

“Talk. To a friend? With who?”

“Let’s have a scroll down shall we? There we are. Look there’s Barry, Caroline – oh no she’s just gone offline – Esther, Gillian. Oh, dear. No, not Gillian. Let’s try Barry shall we?”

“Yes, let’s put Barry on the telly.”

“OK, Catherine. You’re doing just grand. You just have to press the green button here by your armchair.”

“Who’s Barry? Remind me?”

“Oh, Catherine. You met him on Senior Search last week. You had such a good match too. Nearly 9.8. I was proud of that Pairup™.”

“I thought your name was Barry. Isn’t it?”

“I think Barry has gone offline now. Have to be a bit quicker next time, eh?

“Whatever you say Barry.”

IV

“Good morning, Catherine. Shall we go through your schedule?”

“What day of the month is it?”

“Don’t let that worry you, Cath. I can call you Cath, can’t I? Let’s just say today is number 1 and we go up until 7, OK?”

“What happens on 2?”

“Well that is free choice day.”

“Can I go to Giovanni’s and get an ice cream, then?”

“As I said the choice is all yours. You can video-conference a friend or join the Bake or Fakeit class on level 2.”

“I don’t mind really. Your call, Barry.”

V

“Hi Catherine. Why, you look great today!”

“Thanks, Barry. You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“Today is CTS day. Remember?”

“What is that again? Cognitive thingamijimmy.”

“Cognitive Transfer Selection, which is just a fancy way of saying we jog the old grey matter.”

“Oh, I hate that.”

“But I think you will enjoy it today. Really. We have accessed a social networking site circa 2013, that’s back in the day, eh?”

“OMG. Facebook. Where the hell did you drag up that from?”

“It was made available to us exclusively when you signed up through the Mnemonic Tonic™ plan over ten years ago. Its uploadable now direct to your cortex as passive memory.”

“Whatever that means.”

VI

“Howdy Catherine. Rise and shine. It’s day 6.”

“Which means what exactly?”

“A visit from your brother, Alan.”

“You mean Adam.”

“Yes, Alan.”

“When is he coming?”

“He should be here anytime between 1pm and 6pm.”

“You mean he’s coming here?

“Well, yes, he can enter the Comfort Zone™. Unless, unless. Well, I don’t want to disappoint you, but it may be a video conference after all. Your plan doesn’t cover physical transfers as such. But maybe if you want to sign this document? It is only 99,999 Scottos payable to Home Street Homes®, a bargain really. If you just pay now by pressing the orange button here…”

“I know, and I get 2 weeks to think about it and change my mind, that is if I remember doing it in the first place. Haha.”

VII

“Hi Catherine. Why. You look great today!”

“Barry? Where’s Barry got to?”

“You mean Bobbie? Bobbie has gone on a little holiday.”

“You mean like the Barry did before him. So he is not coming back then either?”

“You know, Catherine. I have just monitored your negativity. It’s reached nearly 7.5. You have 6 good years ahead of you according to our records. We want to make the most of that Lazarus Life plan, don’t we? You know a negative thought takes 1,5 seconds off your life, and that’s not taking sarcasm into account. That’s a whole 2 seconds down. I am on your side, you know.

“Oh, I wish Barry was here. He would understand.”

“Luckily we have a SoulUP™ class today with the de Botton Method. Should get your positivity levels normalised. Just put this headset on, and you be taken on a virtual tour of the most spiritually uplifting works of art in the world starting with this 21^st Century portrait of Elton John.”

“But I cleared all that with Barry. I’ll up the dose of the red positivity pill with my morning coffee. Just don’t make me take the tour again. Please?”

Virtual assistants at homes for the elderly: a distant dream? Well, they are already in the making and undergoing testing at an institute for cognitive technology near you. They are expected to encourage you to make conversation, help you make appointments, remind you to take your pills, and remind you to contact friends and acquantainces through video conferencing in care homes for the elderly in the future.