Saturday 15 October 2011

Mottephobia


In this blog I want to share with you quotes and phrases that have influenced me and followed me down the years. They are not phrases from the famous, the dead, the infamous or all three. They are things said in passing by friends that have stuck in my head and have refused to leave. When I think about that friend, a particular phrase often springs to mind. I hope they do not feel offended or exposed if I repeat them here in my blog.

There is something about grapes that just seems to say, I was hereS.R. is the most poignant thing I have ever heard someone say about fruit. Now, whenever I see the left over grape stalks, or vine, or whatever you call them, after the grapes have been plucked off one by one and devoured, I can’t help but think of this phrase. It was said by an artist photographer friend of mine, who I have known since I was at college. Actually, I find it a quite fitting quote for a photographer, the medium that preserves in an image everything which must pass, where its carrier is the negative, at least in analogue photography, and that which is left out, is as important as that which is included. The perfect metaphor, then, for describing presence and absence.

“Sudoku is for brain dead people” J.O. otherwise known as J.E.
At the height of the Sudoku craze, there was one voice of reason. Actually this has let me off the hook ever since, as recently, when I was looking over my 6 year old son’s maths textbook, I realised I couldn’t solve the Sudoku puzzle there.  In fact, it takes just about all of my mental energy to spell the word correctly.

“Moths are Wankers” S.S. A truism, something that, perhaps, we all feel deep down in our hearts, finally given the poetic expression it deserves. It has since been immortalised by the very talented illustrator, Zeel, into badges. Who amongst us feels love for the moth? Whether it is the destruction that they vent outwardly on our clothes, the chilling appearance of their thick hairy bodies and leathery wings, or the fact that we can’t work out why, although not easily differentiated from butterflies, we hate their moth guts but get butterflies in our tummies.  Everyone harbours their own beef with the moth, don’t they? All, that is, except the “Moth-ers”, moth enthusiasts, who, believe it or not spend their free time actually observing them. They have since apparently produced their own badges which can be found on their website: www.Don’t-Mess-with-the-Moth-er-Fuckers.de.

“Make it so hot that I can’t eat it” A. Living in Berlin can be testy for foodies, you can wear down the soles of your shoes in your attempt to track down a half decent Indian meal. The trouble is, they cater for the shy tastes of Berliners. They give ‘em what they think they want: bland curry. On the whole, if the Berlin ethnic cuisine were described in half lives, originally used to describe atomic decay, they would be at least 7 half lives away from a curry in Brick Lane. And, I’m sorry to say, the friend could eat it.

“Tuna Sandwich Day” L.H. OK, not exactly a quote, but more of a lifestyle choice I think about this phrase on a regular basis. For me, it represents perhaps the kind of day that I don’t seem to be able to allow myself to have, having been involuntarily imbued in the protestant work ethic from an early age. And this, despite having no discernable career, whatsoever! Wow, how I would love to have a pyjama day, and just eat tuna fish sandwiches, and watch telly. It just seems like perfect bliss, for mother and son/s.

 So if you are ever in need of inspiration, look no further than your friends. Write your own book of quotes to keep you on the straight and narrow, and watch out for them moths!
Get your badges here: Moths are Wankers

1 comment:

  1. "Tuna Sandwich day" is really attributed to Orson as it's his phrase - there is also another factor - which is a bit more intangible but I think it has to be a certain kind of weather - like a bit sunny but not too hot but the type that makes you feel kind of relaxed and happy - and you come home from school early and eat lunch with your mum and they play something like American Pie on Radio 2, but yeah, embrace the tuna in your lives.

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